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A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a wire and you shoot one of them down, how many will be left?”  Little Johnny replies, “None, the rest will fly away”  The teacher replies “The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking”

Little Johnny asks his teacher “Three women sitting on a bench eating ice cream, One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop. the second is gobbing down the top and sucking the cone and the third is biting off the top of the ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher embarrassed and blushing said “I suppose the one that is gobbing down the top and sucking the cone”  Little Johnny said “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your answer.”

Thanks to RedEyeRecap.

This has got to be the funniest movie Ihave ever seen, “Friday.”  Since it is Friday and Chris Tucker happend to be born on this day August 31, 1972, I thought this 12 second video fit perfect.  Thanks to MzLaidBack for the video.

Last night on Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, Courtney Friel sang “Baby Goy Back” by Sir Mix -A -Lot and “told” Mr RedEyeRecap person that she better not see it on the net.  Well, Mr Recap answered with a very fitting response.   Damn, if only I knew her and was younger and better looking and ect ect…

 Julius Henry Marx, better known as “Groucho Marx,” born on October 2, 1890 and died on this day August 19, 1977 He was a Comedian, Writer, Radio Star, Movie Star, Television Star and just one of the biggest Stars ever!  I’m sure you’ve heard of him unless you lived your life under a rock, There is just way too much to him and the Marx Families life for me to even begin to cover, so here is the 26 movies that I know of.   Below that are some of the best one liners ever spoken.
 

Filmography:  Humor Risk 1920, Cocoanuts 1929, Animal Crackers 1930, The House That Shadows Built 1931, Monkey Business 1931, Hollywood on Parade No 5 1932, Horse Feathers 1932, Duck soup 1933, A Night at the Opera 1935, Yours for the Asking 1936, A Day at the Races 1937, Room Service 1938, At the Circus 1939, Go West 1940, The Big Store 1941, Instatanes 1943, Screen Success Spoil Rock Hunters? 1957 and Skidoo 1968

Here are some of my favorite Quotes, you may even recognize one or two that you didn’t know came from Groucho Marx.

“I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived.”

“If I hold you any closer, I’ll be in back of you.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.”  

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”

“We’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is more than she ever did.”

“You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I’m hot under the collar.”

“A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.”

“A woman is an occasional pleasure, but a cigar is always a smoke.”

“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. groucho.jpgAll you have to do is live long enough.”

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

“Here’s to our girlfriends and wives; may they never meet!”

“Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”

And my favorite

“How would you like to feel the way she looks?”

Marx Brothers .com,   Groucho Marx .com,   Thanks to LittleRascalsDVDcom for the video, it is one of the better ones I found.

fema-goldn-ticket.jpg

Got your FEMA GOLD’N TICKET yet?

I was getting ready to call FEMA to get mine…

then I noticed the fine print