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A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a wire and you shoot one of them down, how many will be left?”  Little Johnny replies, “None, the rest will fly away”  The teacher replies “The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking”

Little Johnny asks his teacher “Three women sitting on a bench eating ice cream, One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop. the second is gobbing down the top and sucking the cone and the third is biting off the top of the ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher embarrassed and blushing said “I suppose the one that is gobbing down the top and sucking the cone”  Little Johnny said “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your answer.”

Thanks to RedEyeRecap.

Greg Gutfeld gives his gut feeling on the new Osama video. 

Thanks to RedEyeRecap for the video.  Run time 1:43

“You know stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through”

“Relax the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while”

“If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document”

“If you run,you’ll only go to jail tired”

“You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

“Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I’m warning you not to do that again, or I’ll give you another ticket”

“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey crap”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven”

“How big were those ‘Just two beers’ you said you had?”

and the winner is…

“You didn’t think we give pretty woman tickets? You’re right, we don’t.  Sign here!”

This has got to be the funniest movie Ihave ever seen, “Friday.”  Since it is Friday and Chris Tucker happend to be born on this day August 31, 1972, I thought this 12 second video fit perfect.  Thanks to MzLaidBack for the video.

Last night on Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld, Courtney Friel sang “Baby Goy Back” by Sir Mix -A -Lot and “told” Mr RedEyeRecap person that she better not see it on the net.  Well, Mr Recap answered with a very fitting response.   Damn, if only I knew her and was younger and better looking and ect ect…